Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
