He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
