I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
