Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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