4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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