I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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