Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Can I color on your dick again?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
