i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
