gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
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