I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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