My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
