he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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