Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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