yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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