I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
