I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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