His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
