Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
