So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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