She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
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As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
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Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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