"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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