I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize