Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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