Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
