I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i was born a porn star she said
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
