sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We don't watch enough power rangers
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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