her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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