im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
