don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
