Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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