What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
