I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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