..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
