summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
