Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
