Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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