He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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