oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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