it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
