So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
