hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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