But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Randomize
