So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Randomize