her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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