pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
