Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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