I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
he fucked my hip out of place.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
