ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
