I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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