I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
