why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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