Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
