batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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