On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
