I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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