called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
