shes about as inviting as chlamydia
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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