Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
this is an emotional support booty call
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
