I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
